Blown

Apparently, the big news in certain papers today is that the relationship between Tony Blair and Gordon Brown has totally broken down.

Yes, right. And I'm the King of some small island community which specialises in exporting pink fish and worships a minor deity.

Several newspapers are obsessed with turning the top tier of our Government into some real-life version of Eastenders:

TB: "Right, get ahhht nah. I've had enuf of yer backstabbin' ways."
GB: "Ya can't do it t'me Tony. Ya need me."
TB: "Slaaaag"
Cherie: "Leave it, Tone, 'e's not worf it!"

Strangely believable isn't it?

No, actually, it isn't at all. We are dealing here with two highly professional, highly ambitious people. They will not exactly let personal rivalry get in the way of keeping their association at the top of the tree. I'm sure they're mature enough to let personal issues take second place to business interest. Regardless of broken promises, disagreements, you cannot have a functioning Government when the relationship between the Prime Minister and the Chancellor of the Exchequer has "broken down".

Yet we continue to have a functioning Government (despite the best attempts of Lucy Ferry to "bring it down"). The fact is, Blair and Brown both know that if they let personal issues get between them, they are opening the door to the other parties, and risking losing power. Which is something neither of them want.

If there IS a rivalry between Brown and Blair, you can bet that they won't be conducting it in public. Instead there will be a lot of behind-the-scenes manouevering, something which journalists are not privy to observing. And something which, above all, will not damage the health of the party. Who do these journalists think they are, the Conservatives? "Oh, we've had a leader for a year, and we're bored of him now, let's get another one!" I think not...

So here's a message for those people from the Mail, the Express, and other downmarket rags like them. Stick to something you know. I hear Eastenders has a new producer soon...