Rant of the Week: So many to choose from...

Hello all,

It's been a while I'm sorry - blame it on work. Even Commuter Boy was held up for a couple of days...

But needless to say many things have been getting my back up this week, as usual. There's the usual suspects (the Tory party, George W Bush), and a few new ones.

Best story of the week has to go to the fact that Rebecca Loos was shown on TV masturbating a boar. I see some kind of bizarre poetic justice in this, given how she became famous in the first place (for those who don't know, it was alleged that she slept with some footballer or other, and seemed as likely as, ooo, a Z-list celebrity being filmed on TV playing with a pig). From what I can gather, she's participating in a programme called "The Farm" on TV which, far from being a fascinating look at those hard-working people who we rarely see, actually consists of plunking a load of has-been and never-had-been "celebrities" in a pile of manure. So far so good, one might say, but I can't believe it's being televised. Much less that I've actually picked up on an event in it. So I'll stop now.

Next on my list is George W. Seemingly the only man in the World, (well, barring Donald "Satan" Rumsfeld, the evil puppetmaster genius who has his hand up Bush's arse) who still believes Saddam Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction, and he's not going to let any amount of proof to the contrary get in his way. Perhaps the most depressing thing is that there are people who believe him, denizens of the Deep South who think that the next village is a "for'n" country, and Iraq is somewhere near New York. Perhaps more depressing even that this though, is that the Democrats have managed to find the only person IN THE UNIVERSE who could struggle to beat George Bush.

Lets look at the facts - we have a man who resembles a chimpanzee, has the manners of a chimpanzee, the intelligence and attention span of a goldfish, and believes that anyone who disagrees with him should be shot, nuked, or both. Yet John Kerry has actually managed to fall behind this primal ape in the American polls. Way to go JK!! At least he finally started clawing some ground back in his televised debate, although this wasn't so much to do with his arguments than the fact that both Bush and Kerry were on screen at the same time, and Bush was continually rolling his eyes, not interested and getting annoyed (for those of you who don't know, the Bush administration tried to ban televising the reactions of the person facing the questioning. Needless to say they failed). It remains to be seen how tonight's debate goes, but at the moment, I feel like even Michael Howard could have led a more effective opposition to Bush.

Which brings me neatly on to the Tory party conference. Average age of delegate = 70. Importance to the world = slightly less than Rebecca Loos masturbating a pig. I really don't like them at all, mainly due to the fact that I still can't forgive them for inflicting Thatcher on us, but also because of the gross hypocrisy and pettiness they continually demonstrate. It's never "We would do this if we were in power". It's always "Labour have done this and it's crap". There were some interesting statistics on Today this morning provided by the editors of the Bloomsbury English Dictionary. Of the three top men who lead each major political party in the UK, Michael Howard used the word "I" the most. Now there's someone who's going to selflessly devote himself to the country. Apparently, he also used "immigration" more than anyone else, always in a negative light. Which is interesting, coming from a Romanian immigrant. A Labour party spokesman was quoted as saying "it's alright for his family, but not for anyone else."

But what REALLY got my back up were the soundbites of the Shadow Cabinet detailing the last CD they bought. Everyone, EVERYONE, chose something modern, and perceived as trendy. Scissor Sisters and Keane were the ones which stood out for me. It was so utterly false, and the whole idea was to make the party seem "younger" and "more cool". Bastards. They're going to do exactly the same as Blair does now if they get in - divert all the funding away from Classical and Jazz because it's perceived as "elitist". They totally fail to realise that young people actually DO like Classical and Jazz music. Why couldn't they - just for once in their pitiful lives - be honest? But no, they'd sell their grannies for power.

Which brings me to my final subject, my biggest pet hate of this week. Formula 1, and specifically Bernie Ecclestone. Loathsome oik. Mind you, at least he's basically come clean and implied he doesn't give a shit about the sport, it's just one big cash cow for him. It is U-B's considered opinion that Formula 1 as a "franchise" should die off now. For a long time the imbalance in money has taken away the really spectacle. I don't blame Michael Schumacher - I think he is one of the ultimate sportsmen the world has seen. Everyone seems to forget when saying now that "he has the best car" that his first world championships were won driving an extremely uncompetitive Bennetton. He is unique, and yet if I were him, I would retire and distance myself from the whole farce.

With Ecclestone's perceived desire to move Formula 1 away from the UK, I would really say "let him". Firstly, I think it's a ruse by him to get more money, and secondly I think any money we spent on it would be better put towards establishing a competitive series to rival Formula 1, which is ready to step into the gap left when F1 finally goes belly up. I cannot even believe that Richard Caborn is considering using money from the East Midlands Development Fund to help supply Ecclestone with the money required to host a race. It's ridiculous. Shouldn't the race organisers be paying a fee to rent the circuit, instead of the other way around? And to think that the money will be going towards the empire of a multi-millionaire than say, ooo, housing regeneration, is obscene, and frankly leaves me speechless.

Which is a good note to end on. Hope you've enjoyed it - there will be more next week...