No no no no no no no!!!

Hideous news! Much badness and wrongness!

They're going to make a musical of Lord of the Rings.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words fail me to describe how very wrong this is. I know there's song in the books, but for God's sake!

I can just picture it now. Effete boy with designs on being a Hollywood Star enters stage left:

"Gollum, Gollum, where do you go-o-o-o?"

Enter similarly effete boy, but who crouches and has a bit of mud artistically applied to show he's, you know, evil"

"I go, I go, I GO-O-O!
To find my precious..."

Dreadful. If you want to go and see a musical verison of the Lord of the Rings, go and see a Wagner opera (admittedly, not quite the same story, but still good fun). Otherwise, leave it alone!